Friday, November 18, 2011

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 - 1 star

I didn't hate the first 3 Twilight movies. I wouldn't say I enjoyed them, but they were starting to grow on me. Despite the bad writing, bad acting, horrible special effects, and soap opera quality the characters were starting to grow on me a little. I was hoping this 4th movie in the series would be interesting. I was wrong.

Nothing happens in this movie. Ok, a few things happen, but it feels like they took 45 minutes of material and stretched it out to 2 hours. When the last Harry Potter book was split into 2 movies, it made sense. That book had a ton of plot and it wouldn't have worked in one movie. The Twilight producers realized they could do the same thing and make a lot more money. The problem is the book doesn't have the plot to sustain 2 movies. At least it seems that way from this first part.

Spoiler alert. If you haven't read the books and want to remain spoiler free, stop reading. I'm going to give the plot away.

In this movie, Edward and Bella get married. Then they go on their honeymoon. Bella gets pregnant and they return to Edward's house. Jacob is concerned about Bella while the rest of his tribe / pack are worried that Bella's baby will be a threat to everyone. Bella has the baby. The end.

That's about it. The wedding takes a half hour and everyone just stands around looking sullen and earnest. The bad dialogue is delivered like the actors are hung over. There is maybe 3 minutes of humor while Bella's friends and family are giving toasts. Anna Kendrick shows up for maybe 5 minutes and livens things up. Bella's dad is more entertaining in 30 seconds here than he has been in any of the previous movies.

Then they go on their honeymoon. This takes another half an hour. They consummate their marriage and his lovemaking is so violent that they bust up the room. When Edward sees bruises on Bella's arm the next morning, he decides they can't have sex again. Bella is sad.

All this time, they never cut away to anyone else. No subplot involving Jacob. Nothing about the Volturi (the royal family of vampires). In the trailer, we see the Volturi getting an invitation to Bella's wedding. What about that? They were the most interesting aspect of these movies, because they introduced some real menace and danger. Plus Michael Sheen plays the leader, and he is great in everything.

In New Moon the characters met up with the Volturi, and from what I can remember, there was talk about killing Bella because she was a threat. Are they still interested in what goes on with her? Do they know Edward and Bella got married? No mention of them in this movie, except for one scene where Bella sees them in a dream.

Hopefully Part 2 will be better, but unless you are a die hard Twilight fan, there is no reason to see this movie.

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