This movie is aweful. Chris Pine and Tom Hardy star as FDR Foster and Tuck, to CIA operatives. At the start of the movie, we are introduced to FDR and Tuck as they are trying to capture a European criminal (an arms dealer or something) at a party in Hong Kong. There is a lame shootout, and this scene does nothing but show us how bad this movie is going to be.
FDR and Tuck are demoted to desk jobs since they messed up the Hong Kong job. FDR is a ladies man, but Tuck hasn't dated anyone since his divorce. He has a young son that he sees once in a while. Oh, and apparently they can't tell anyone that they are CIA agents, so Tuck's ex-wife thinks he is travel agent who travels a lot.
Tuck decides to try online dating. He meets Lauren (Reese Witherspoon), they go out, and immediately hit it off. As Lauren is heading home from their date, she bumps in to FDR at a video store. She resists his advances at first, but he wants to hook up with her.
It might have been funny if FDR and Tuck had no idea they were persuing the same girl. But in this movie, they find out right away. Since they are friends, and FDR has no trouble getting women, in any rational universe he would step aside. But he has to say something stupid like "If I pursued her, you wouldn't have a chance. So I'll let you have her." So of course it becomes a competition to see who can win her.
Lauren starts dating both guys, and she can't decide between them. Her best friend (Chelsea Handler) encourages her to keep seeing both, and sleep with both before she makes up her mind.
This movie is not funny, and it is completely unbelievable. Tuck and FDR are able to put teams of CIA agents together to spy on each other, using whatever resources the CIA has, and they never get caught or questioned. This is a romantic comedy but there is a little bit of action regarding the European criminal. The action scenes are so bad that there is no sense of danger or excitement.
This movie is a failure on every level.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The Vow - 2 stars
Leo (Channing Tatum) and Paige (Rachel McAdams) have been married for about 4 years. They are very much in love, very happy, and are starting to try for a baby. One night they get rear ended by a truck and she ends up in a coma. When she wakes up, she doesn't remember the last 5 years, which means she doesn't remember her husband Leo.
This could be the setup for an interesting story. What if you waked up and couldn't remember the last 5 years? Think of all the questions you would have. Not only do you not recognize your life, but what current events have you missed? One of my first questions would be about movies - which movies won Oscars the last 5 years? What's happening with the Batman or Spider Man or Hobbit franchise? Who is the president?
There are so many possibilities for a story like this. Unfortunately this movie isn't interested in exploring what would really happen. This movie is very contrived. Instead of interesting dialogue, we get story beats that aren't fleshed out very well.
When Paige wakes up from her coma, her parents come to see her. We learn that Leo never told them that their daughter was almost killed. Interestingly they have never met Leo. She hasn't seen her parents in years. Did they even know she was married? Apparently Paige changed every possible aspect of her life 5 years ago. She left home and moved to the big city (a whopping half hour away from home). She dropped out of law school and became an artist. She became a vegitarian. She changed her hair style. It's hard to believe this setup. No wonder she has a hard time adjusting to this foreign life.
I would like to see a movie with a similar setup, but with well drawn characters and sharp dialogue. They never have much of a conversation. The movie tends to cut away right when a scene is about to get to something interesting.
They filmed their wedding. You would think Leo would show her the video right away. But no - she finds it on her own several days after coming home. You would think Leo would catch her up on events chronologically. This never happens either.
I don't think my expectations were too high for this movie, and it let me down. But it wasn't boring or painful to sit through, so I went with the 2 star rating. You could see worse movies (like Journey 2), but this is not a movie you should seek out.
This could be the setup for an interesting story. What if you waked up and couldn't remember the last 5 years? Think of all the questions you would have. Not only do you not recognize your life, but what current events have you missed? One of my first questions would be about movies - which movies won Oscars the last 5 years? What's happening with the Batman or Spider Man or Hobbit franchise? Who is the president?
There are so many possibilities for a story like this. Unfortunately this movie isn't interested in exploring what would really happen. This movie is very contrived. Instead of interesting dialogue, we get story beats that aren't fleshed out very well.
When Paige wakes up from her coma, her parents come to see her. We learn that Leo never told them that their daughter was almost killed. Interestingly they have never met Leo. She hasn't seen her parents in years. Did they even know she was married? Apparently Paige changed every possible aspect of her life 5 years ago. She left home and moved to the big city (a whopping half hour away from home). She dropped out of law school and became an artist. She became a vegitarian. She changed her hair style. It's hard to believe this setup. No wonder she has a hard time adjusting to this foreign life.
I would like to see a movie with a similar setup, but with well drawn characters and sharp dialogue. They never have much of a conversation. The movie tends to cut away right when a scene is about to get to something interesting.
They filmed their wedding. You would think Leo would show her the video right away. But no - she finds it on her own several days after coming home. You would think Leo would catch her up on events chronologically. This never happens either.
I don't think my expectations were too high for this movie, and it let me down. But it wasn't boring or painful to sit through, so I went with the 2 star rating. You could see worse movies (like Journey 2), but this is not a movie you should seek out.
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island - 1 star
This movie just pissed me off. The people who wrote it think that all kids are dumb. Movies don't have to be dumbed down to be for kids. Kids are smarter than that.
The only returning character is Sean Anderson (Josh Hutcherson). He is able to intercept a satellite message from his grandfather (Michael Caine). His grandfather is stuck on the mysterious island, and he sent the coded message in hopes his grandson would find it. Does he want Sean to find the island and visit him, or is he hoping for rescue? If he wants to be rescued, why does he code the message? If he just wants Sean to find the island, he is a crazy old man, because no ship or plane can land safely on the island. You have to pass through a crazy system of tornados.
Sean's stepfather (Dwayne Johnson) helps him decode the message, and has no problem buying them two tickets to the South Pacific to find the island. No discussion of how much last minute plane tickets like that would cost. The screenwriters not only think kids are dumb, they think everyone can afford to drop several thousand dollars at the drop of a hat.
Once they get to the South Pacific, they hire Luis Guzman and his daughter Vanessa Hudgens to fly them to the coordinates where the mysterious island is located. It takes them about 5 minutes to reach the location, which makes you wonder why others haven't discovered it. They go through a storm system and end up wrecked on the beach of the mysterious island. Of course they are ok, even though the helicopter is in pieces.
The rest of the movie consists of them meeting giant creatures, riding on the backs of bees (which are easier to tame than a horse), and finding the lost city of Atlantis and Captain Nemo's submarine from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
I didn't enjoy this movie. I tried to turn my brain off and just enjoy the adventure, but there is no sense of danger. At no time did the movie make me believe there was anything to worry about. Luis Guzman was not funny, Michael Caine turned in the worst performance I have ever seen from him, Caine and The Rock insult each other even thought the movie gives no reason for their animosity, and Sean acts like a spoiled brat. Avoid at all costs.
The only returning character is Sean Anderson (Josh Hutcherson). He is able to intercept a satellite message from his grandfather (Michael Caine). His grandfather is stuck on the mysterious island, and he sent the coded message in hopes his grandson would find it. Does he want Sean to find the island and visit him, or is he hoping for rescue? If he wants to be rescued, why does he code the message? If he just wants Sean to find the island, he is a crazy old man, because no ship or plane can land safely on the island. You have to pass through a crazy system of tornados.
Sean's stepfather (Dwayne Johnson) helps him decode the message, and has no problem buying them two tickets to the South Pacific to find the island. No discussion of how much last minute plane tickets like that would cost. The screenwriters not only think kids are dumb, they think everyone can afford to drop several thousand dollars at the drop of a hat.
Once they get to the South Pacific, they hire Luis Guzman and his daughter Vanessa Hudgens to fly them to the coordinates where the mysterious island is located. It takes them about 5 minutes to reach the location, which makes you wonder why others haven't discovered it. They go through a storm system and end up wrecked on the beach of the mysterious island. Of course they are ok, even though the helicopter is in pieces.
The rest of the movie consists of them meeting giant creatures, riding on the backs of bees (which are easier to tame than a horse), and finding the lost city of Atlantis and Captain Nemo's submarine from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
I didn't enjoy this movie. I tried to turn my brain off and just enjoy the adventure, but there is no sense of danger. At no time did the movie make me believe there was anything to worry about. Luis Guzman was not funny, Michael Caine turned in the worst performance I have ever seen from him, Caine and The Rock insult each other even thought the movie gives no reason for their animosity, and Sean acts like a spoiled brat. Avoid at all costs.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Safe House - 2 1/2 stars
Denzel Washington plays a CIA operative who has gone rogue. He has stolen something and is trying to sell it. He gets caught by the CIA while he is in South Africa, and he is taken to a safe house for interrogation. The safe house is run by Ryan Reynolds.
While he is being interrogated, a heavily armed team of terrorists / assassins / whatever breaks into the safe house to kidnap Denzel. They kill the CIA guys, and Reynolds escapes with Denzel. Most of the movie consists of Reynolds trying to keep Denzel in custody. Denzel's operative is a legend in the CIA, and this is Reynolds' first big mission. Which means Denzel is calm and not worried at all about this kid - he could basically escape any time he chooses.
We've seen this movie before. There is some decent action in the middle of the movie, but it is badly edited. I also didn't like the look of the movie. It looked like a bad imitation of a Tony Scott movie. The color scheme was just ugly.
It isn't giving much away to say that at least one person in the CIA is involved in this, and Denzel may not have gone rogue. Or he may not be the bad guy they claim he is. An hour after the movie I had forgotten all about it. This is a very forgettable movie.
While he is being interrogated, a heavily armed team of terrorists / assassins / whatever breaks into the safe house to kidnap Denzel. They kill the CIA guys, and Reynolds escapes with Denzel. Most of the movie consists of Reynolds trying to keep Denzel in custody. Denzel's operative is a legend in the CIA, and this is Reynolds' first big mission. Which means Denzel is calm and not worried at all about this kid - he could basically escape any time he chooses.
We've seen this movie before. There is some decent action in the middle of the movie, but it is badly edited. I also didn't like the look of the movie. It looked like a bad imitation of a Tony Scott movie. The color scheme was just ugly.
It isn't giving much away to say that at least one person in the CIA is involved in this, and Denzel may not have gone rogue. Or he may not be the bad guy they claim he is. An hour after the movie I had forgotten all about it. This is a very forgettable movie.
Sundance wrap-up
I saw 15 movies at Sundance this year. I was hoping to see more, but as always, there just aren't enough hours in the day. Here is a list of all the movies I saw in order of best to worst:
The Surrogate - A
The Raid - A-
Slavery by Another Name - A-
The Other Dream Team - B+
Excision - B+
Madrid, 1987 - B
Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry - B
Escape Fire - The Fight to Rescue American Healthcare - B-
Compliance - B-
Yound & Wild - C+
Elena - C
Can - C-
Nobody Walks - C-
The Ambassador - D
The End of Love - F
The Surrogate - A
The Raid - A-
Slavery by Another Name - A-
The Other Dream Team - B+
Excision - B+
Madrid, 1987 - B
Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry - B
Escape Fire - The Fight to Rescue American Healthcare - B-
Compliance - B-
Yound & Wild - C+
Elena - C
Can - C-
Nobody Walks - C-
The Ambassador - D
The End of Love - F
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Sundance Saturday, January 28
Today I finally saw Can, the first Turkish movie to play at the festival.
Set in Istanbul, Ayse and Cemal are married but unable to conceive. Since they are uneducated and live in the slums, they don't know about adoption. So the way they decide to have a child is to buy one through the black market. Soon after getting the kid, Cemal freaks out and leaves his wife and their new child.
Cut to several years later. Ayse is raising the child (named Can) alone. She leaves for work every day and takes him with her. She leaves him in the park and tells him to wait for her. She works her shift then comes back to pick Can up. This is their daily routine.
We revisit Cemal after he has remarried, and his new wife is pregnant.
Without giving away the ending, this is basically the plot of the movie. But the movie does not unfold in a linear fashion. The movie keeps jumping back and forth in time, and while that makes the story a little more interesting, it also makes it much more confusing. It was a ways into the movie before I understood that we were seeing Ayse in two different time periods. I think the filmmakers could have done a better job of not making it so confusing.
Also, things could have been explained better. I didn't know until during the Q&A that they were poor and lived in a slum. Since I don't know what life in Istanbul is like, I had no idea whether they were well off or not. I didn't know that it is common for people like them to have no knowledge of adoption, because during the movie I kept wondering why they didn't try adoption.
The boy who plays Can is adorable. I felt so bad for him, because all he does every day is sit on the park bench, waiting for his mom. When they walk to the park, he looks over and sees other kids playing on the playground. He longs to play like a regular kid, but his mom doesn't have time to wait for him to go play. He also longs for his mother to show him some love, but she seems to have no emotional attachment to him. She treats him like a burden.
Late in the movie, she seems to warm up to him. I didn't really understand what made her attitude change. The entire movie, she seems to have no love for her son. Suddenly at the end she seems like a good mother. I think that is too much of an abrubt character arc with no explanation.
Last, the subtitles. I have never seen such bad subtitles. They are in broken english, and sometimes they ahve typos (like that one). They really need to let someone go through those subtitles and clean them up.
Set in Istanbul, Ayse and Cemal are married but unable to conceive. Since they are uneducated and live in the slums, they don't know about adoption. So the way they decide to have a child is to buy one through the black market. Soon after getting the kid, Cemal freaks out and leaves his wife and their new child.
Cut to several years later. Ayse is raising the child (named Can) alone. She leaves for work every day and takes him with her. She leaves him in the park and tells him to wait for her. She works her shift then comes back to pick Can up. This is their daily routine.
We revisit Cemal after he has remarried, and his new wife is pregnant.
Without giving away the ending, this is basically the plot of the movie. But the movie does not unfold in a linear fashion. The movie keeps jumping back and forth in time, and while that makes the story a little more interesting, it also makes it much more confusing. It was a ways into the movie before I understood that we were seeing Ayse in two different time periods. I think the filmmakers could have done a better job of not making it so confusing.
Also, things could have been explained better. I didn't know until during the Q&A that they were poor and lived in a slum. Since I don't know what life in Istanbul is like, I had no idea whether they were well off or not. I didn't know that it is common for people like them to have no knowledge of adoption, because during the movie I kept wondering why they didn't try adoption.
The boy who plays Can is adorable. I felt so bad for him, because all he does every day is sit on the park bench, waiting for his mom. When they walk to the park, he looks over and sees other kids playing on the playground. He longs to play like a regular kid, but his mom doesn't have time to wait for him to go play. He also longs for his mother to show him some love, but she seems to have no emotional attachment to him. She treats him like a burden.
Late in the movie, she seems to warm up to him. I didn't really understand what made her attitude change. The entire movie, she seems to have no love for her son. Suddenly at the end she seems like a good mother. I think that is too much of an abrubt character arc with no explanation.
Last, the subtitles. I have never seen such bad subtitles. They are in broken english, and sometimes they ahve typos (like that one). They really need to let someone go through those subtitles and clean them up.
Sundance Thursday, January 26
Best day yet. Three movies, all of them great.
The Other Dream Team
This is a documentary about the 1992 Lithuanian Olympic basketball team. I had never heard of them before (I have never really followed the olympics), but this was the first year Lithuania had a team there. In previous years, the Lithuanians had played for the Russian national team.
This movie gives us a pretty good lesson on Lithuania. During World War II Russia occupied Lithuania and it did so until 1991. Many Lithuanians were sent to labor camps in Siberia during Stalin's reign. In 1991, there was a movement to get the Russians out of Lithuania. Many people died before Russia finally left the country.
This is a real feel good movie. The country has no money, so a few people start looking for help to fund the team. The Grateful Dead end up being the sponsors. The team does get beat by the US dream team, but they end up playing against the Russian team for the silver medal.
The Surrogate
John Hawkes plays a journalist named Mark O'Brien. Mark has been living in an iron lung since he was a boy. He is able to get out for a few hours a day, but his muscles don't work so he has to be wheeled around in a Gurney.
He decides to lose his virginity, and he hires a sex surrogate played by Helen Hunt. For guidance, he goes to a priest played by William H. Macy (perfect casting). This is a very sweet and beautiful love story. This is the most honest portrayal I have ever seen of a sexual innocent learning about intimacy. The nudity and sexual dialogue is very frank and honest, but never gratuitous. This movie is for adults, but in no way is it dirty. I think this movie will be an Academy Awards contender next year, and John Hawkes will definitely get a nomination.
The Raid
Set in Indonesia, this movie is about a police SWAT team going to conduct a raid on a rundown tenement in Jakarta. Their target is to take out a crime boss named Tama. But the entire building is full of criminals loyal to Tama. What follows is wall to wall action between the SWAT team and the residents.
This movie has some of the best fight scenes I have ever seen. The movie doesn't use a bunch of cuts to show a fight - they are actually played out in unbroken long shots. You can see that the actors actually had to choreograph the fights to precision.
The movie is very bloody. It is a grindhouse movie in the best sense of the word. There are many moments that made the entire audience erupt in cheers. The climactic fight between the main henchman and two brothers is just incredible. I could watch this movie again right now.
The Other Dream Team
This is a documentary about the 1992 Lithuanian Olympic basketball team. I had never heard of them before (I have never really followed the olympics), but this was the first year Lithuania had a team there. In previous years, the Lithuanians had played for the Russian national team.
This movie gives us a pretty good lesson on Lithuania. During World War II Russia occupied Lithuania and it did so until 1991. Many Lithuanians were sent to labor camps in Siberia during Stalin's reign. In 1991, there was a movement to get the Russians out of Lithuania. Many people died before Russia finally left the country.
This is a real feel good movie. The country has no money, so a few people start looking for help to fund the team. The Grateful Dead end up being the sponsors. The team does get beat by the US dream team, but they end up playing against the Russian team for the silver medal.
The Surrogate
John Hawkes plays a journalist named Mark O'Brien. Mark has been living in an iron lung since he was a boy. He is able to get out for a few hours a day, but his muscles don't work so he has to be wheeled around in a Gurney.
He decides to lose his virginity, and he hires a sex surrogate played by Helen Hunt. For guidance, he goes to a priest played by William H. Macy (perfect casting). This is a very sweet and beautiful love story. This is the most honest portrayal I have ever seen of a sexual innocent learning about intimacy. The nudity and sexual dialogue is very frank and honest, but never gratuitous. This movie is for adults, but in no way is it dirty. I think this movie will be an Academy Awards contender next year, and John Hawkes will definitely get a nomination.
The Raid
Set in Indonesia, this movie is about a police SWAT team going to conduct a raid on a rundown tenement in Jakarta. Their target is to take out a crime boss named Tama. But the entire building is full of criminals loyal to Tama. What follows is wall to wall action between the SWAT team and the residents.
This movie has some of the best fight scenes I have ever seen. The movie doesn't use a bunch of cuts to show a fight - they are actually played out in unbroken long shots. You can see that the actors actually had to choreograph the fights to precision.
The movie is very bloody. It is a grindhouse movie in the best sense of the word. There are many moments that made the entire audience erupt in cheers. The climactic fight between the main henchman and two brothers is just incredible. I could watch this movie again right now.
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