Friday, December 19, 2008

Seven Pounds - 1 star

Seven Pounds wants to be a movie like The Sixth Sense. You know, a movie with a shocking twist. Remember how pissed off you would have been if someone had spoiled The Sixth Sense before you saw it? Well, this ain't that.

The first hour of the movie is boring as hell. Characters pop up out of nowhere and then disappear. We meet Ben Thomas as he is calling 911. He is reporting a suicide: his own. The rest of the movie is told in flashback. Why is he going to kill himself? Does he succeed? We see him talking to a blind phone operator and he lays into the guy for five minutes. "You're blind? How pathetic. I'll bet you're a virgin, too." So we hate Ben Thomas for being such an asshole.

But then we see him trying to help people. He visits a retirement home administrator and when he finds out the administrator is punishing the elderly, Ben almost kicks the guy's ass. He says you better treat these people better. Bet is an IRS agent and he tells people he is going to audit them, but we suspect that he is trying to help them. Why is he doing these good deeds? Is it possible he is going to kill himself for some past transgression, but before he does he wants to do some good deeds to redeem himself?

The movie does become watchable once it focuses on Rosario Dawson. She plays Emily Posa, a woman with a weak heart. She needs a transplant but because of her rare blood type, chances are she won't find a donor before her heart goes out. Ben starts to help her by doing yard work, taking her dog for a walk, and even staying on the phone with her all night when she is in the hospital. Before long, a romance develops. The romance is done so well, and they have such great chemistry together, that I wish the entire movie had been about the two of them.

The movie keeps you guessing until the very end when it ties everything together with a sad little bow (although you will probably guess where the movie is going much earlier). I advise you to save your money. I know some people will want to stay away, but because a mystery is so tempting, they will spend their money just to know what its about. So as a service, I am going to spoil the ending in the comments section. Read it if you want to know the secret of the movie. If you really want to remain spoiler-free, and you decide to see the movie anyway, you have my pity.

1 comment:

Mike said...

Ok, here it is. Ben was driving with his wife and caused an accident. See, he was texting and drifted into oncoming traffic. The accident killed 7 people, including his wife. To atone for this, he is going to help 7 people. He gives away a house, part of his liver, a lung, and bone marrow. But the biggest ones of all are his eyes (to the blind guy) and his heart (to Rosario Dawson).

The way he does this is he gets in a bathtub filled with ice and lets loose a poisonous jellyfish. He has arranged with his friend, a lawyer, to make sure that his organs are immediately harvested for transplant. He leaves a note for the paramedics: Don't touch the jellyfish.

You're welcome.